1200.0 precisely, and 6 days.

Am proud of the amount of riding I've done in the past few weeks - two hundred miles, most of it in the two weeks since 9/17. If I can keep this up, I may actually lose weight in the coming months. Hope the rainy season doesn't start too soon.

Not much of a ride today really, but had to take the car in for what never seems allowed to be simple & cheap. Tie-rod ends, allegedly, are worn down, and unfixable via lube = $175 (and wouldn't you know, Dave has just gotten a fresh supply of tie-rod ends! I think this is my last visit to Dave's - I always get the feeling they're laughing with glee as soon as I leave). And I still will need to get the front end aligned after that.

To jam or not to jam tonite? Since my music partner doesn't smoke or drink, it's probably okay. But since I had another weird semi-sleep last night, I probably won't be exactly rarin' to rock'n'roll.

Weird, conversations again with old "classmates." Some I look forward to, and hope to keep running; others I can take or leave - it's just as good to do the email equivalent of nodding as you pass, just acknowledging remembrance.

But contacting the Tholens - that's pretty special. Haven't seen any one of them for 30 years - and have looked. Jennifer is the only one I've "spoken" to so far, though she is trying to contact others. These people were my local "crowd" in formative years - age 6-13. Though formative, that's only 1/7th of my life to date, and it's a very old 7th. And trying to address Jenny in any meaningful fashion, having been absent from each other's lives for 30 years, me basically writing to the 12-yr-old I last saw (and reverting somewhat to the 13-yr-old I was when I last saw her) but knowing she has had an entire life - all the mistakes and correct moves one makes in that time: being sent to boarding school, three kids, husband died three years ago, having moved up & down the eastern seaboard, finding her natural parents, losing her adoptive parents, now selling real estate in MD... Trying to reconcile these two poles of *her* life to date. And I really want a friendship there, opportunity to give/receive something of value - this is the closest I'll get to any meaningful contact with my "roots" - so I'm walking a tightrope in some ways, making a new friend out of an old friend. She sent a picture yesterday - I hadn't asked for one - a great help in bringing it all into the present. Her middle daughter looks about like the Jenny I picture - Jenny herself looks completely different. Of course, I have web pages with a jillion pictures from all angles, of me, my wife, my cat, my life. She only logs on at work, so can't write much, so I tend to feel like I'm *pushing* to make things happen, and perhaps overwhelming her, because of course I can sit for hours writing (even at work, like now!), and I write "gushingly," almost at the speed of talking, where she isn't necessarily that kind of writer and may be nonplussed by this whole thing once the initial glow of remembrance wears. And maybe that's as it should be with these things, I don't know. (I guess this all begs the question; this *isn't* a gender thing, and there was never any sexual/relationship-type thing with Jenny; she was younger and sister-like through those years. I was taken in by this family, after schooldays, when nobody was home at my house till 5 or 6.)

I realize that I regret not having stayed in touch with Jimmy AND Jenny - and I realize I'll be going thru much the same stuff with Jim if and when I hear from him. Wonder if he still eats those awful "peanutbutter tunafish catsup and mayonnaise" sandwiches he used to like, now that he makes $100k/yr loaning money to corporations.

I suppose the glaze is already somewhat off the doughnut. I was really preoccupied with "what do I expect from this/what do they expect?" earlier. Now it's sort of settled and I'm accepting what happens.

I have always looked for them over the past 30 years, but had never thought much about what we'd have to say to each other when I found them!

Maybe THIS will cure me of that delving-into-the-past -- I can't think of anyone farther back.

BTW: MUCH more offensive to me than Maher - who does not pretend to be serious - is the "Buddy Lee" commercial on TV showing the stupid little mascot-doll with a bandage on its arm as if it has given blood. This strikes me as wildly inappropriate for a company attempting to make money from their television advertising.

Maher's individual comments did not carry the kind of crassly comercial subtext that a TV ad carries by its very nature.

1190.2 and 4 days.

Tried a different route this morning, actually hitting part of my old 3.5-mile route. Instead of going thru Cotati on Old Redwood Hwy, went down Stony Point to Jewett, over Center Road, to Rainsville and back to Stony Point. (That south end of Stony Point has a lot of traffic and almost no shoulder, so I avoid it.)

Sunny morning. I should leave earlier to avoid direct sun in my face (and in the faces of drivers who don't always notice they're sharing the road with me), but it's nice to have that crisp and clear weather. Still sweating like a pig when I finish my ride to work or home (or even the five miles to the bus stop) - thus Toby 's comments, which aren't at all meant to be mean, but "Hello, sweaty stinky old man" is NOT what I want to hear -- and though I sweat a lot, at this point there's not a lot of impurity in it, and honestly, I don't think I stink, not even of "sweat." When I put the shirt back on in the afternoon, it's a little stiff from salt but doesn't smell of anything. Doesn't bug me THAT much, but given my current state, he could get his head ripped off one day.

Unable to sleep normal hours lately - spending time awake from 11:30 or 12:00 to 2:00 or so, updating "Born Today" pages (never can resist a chance to plug it!), and then falling asleep on the futon with the TV on. Oh well; whatever it takes to get through the next few weeks/months/years...

Need to have discipline in my life; like to structure my days. Trying to ride the bike Mon/Wed/Fri is part of that, as it is part of trying to improve lung power, get in shape, maintain a sane weight, save wear&tear on the car, save gas, and expend personal energy.

Both local mom'n'pops have "failed" me in terms of daily latte service. Now I go to Starbuck's, and though almost everything about them annoys me, they can reliably make the same latte every time - even at 5am, if I should ever get in that early - without blasting their stupid family-values opinions at me.

Speaking of which, How 'bout the backlash to Bill Maher's comments! People are getting WAY too sensitive behind this thing. Don't people understand (rhetorical question) that the function of a good, not to say GREAT, comic - as of any good entertainer (and this includes "infotainers" like columnists and talking heads) - is to push the envelope, to push our buttons and see which produce a ringing sound? Especially a comic whose TV show is called "Politically Incorrect"!! Maher has always pushed those buttons. People desperately need to get a sense of humor. And a sense of perspective. Truth be told, he's right, to some extent: it does take a certain courage to fly an airliner directly into a building. These people were NOT cowards in that sense - they were highly-committed individuals, believers in their religion. (So sue me!) However, there are cowards behind them.

~1173.0.

Made it almost to the bus stop after work before plit. plit. plit, then plitplitplitplit and I'm getting soaked. Major thunder and lightning off to the west - cool when you don't get to see it much (and when there's like 20, 30 seconds between lightning and thunder so you know it's pretty far away).

Called T from the payphone with genuine downpour soaking everything in my wallet while I located her card.

Then, power goes out at the gas station, and for the traffic lights nearby, so everything gets really messy.

Still, got my 21 bike miles yesterday.

Raging raw nerves. Took a longish walk around the block, which helped - actually helped more than M&Ms or tic-tacs. Onward!

Supposed to be good weather for the rest of the week. Hope so; hope to get another 50 miles by friday evening!

1168.6.

Actually starting to feel the benefit (after feeling the detriment Saturday) of all this exercise, and not only got to work a *teeny* bit quicker, but was able to keep up a relatively strong pace through the entire 16 miles (except for the major hills) this morning. Also "sprinted" (for me anything over 20mph) the last mile or so to work. Toby, seeing me newly-arrived, said I looked "ruined." If I could somehow get it down to an hour - e.g. averaging 16mph - that would be pretty cool. As it is, I average between 11 and 12 mph, I guess...

Not much new seen on today's ride, but for dead deer and garbage bag along the shoulder of 116 that I saw from the car yesterday so was already watching to avoid. But the ride definitely felt more doable than it has (and more so than I had been imagining during my bike hiatus).

Saturday, 10-mile hike seemed to take out my right leg, but it was okay sunday and today - just a little muscle soreness (which one can generally expect after a 10-mile hike that includes at least 1000 ft of altitude changes, if one hasn't been doing such hikes regularly). Really, Lake Ranch and Ridge trails are very nice, and I'll do 'em again -- slower -- someday.

Not gonna talk right now about the item that is newly missing from my life (though just noticed I mentioned it earlier anyway, so...). Maybe later. Feeling it quite acutely, but will prevail this time, dammit. Underestimated, somewhat, the amount of habituality I've developed at work over a year and a half...

The bus-in-the-afternoon plan seems to work pretty well, though I'm still not sure what happens if the bus arrives with two bikes already on it. The stop is located such that I'm looking at 15 more miles if the bus is full. Well, there are always pay phones nearby, and hell, if I keep up the pace I've done the past two weeks, another 15 won't be a big deal.